DECK THE HALLS WITH SANTA'S EVIL BROTHER!!!

Hey folks! Welcome to another exciting edition of "Bad Wrestling Theater". Today's gem comes from the wacky world of the mid 90's WWF. A world ripe with wrestling clowns, plumbers and dudes with yellow jockstraps over their heads (don't ask).

It was the December '95 In Your House pay per view, and longtime heel Ted Dibiase was in the ring bashing Santa Clause, prompting perennial midcarder Savio Vego to come defend jolly old St. Nick's honor. Just as things started to clear up, Vega was attacked by none other than Santa Clause, who had apparently sold out to the Million Dollar Man. Of course, it wasn't actually Santa Clause, but his evil brother, Xanta Klause, who came from the South Pole and stole presents rather than give them.

Yeah, it was pretty bad, but it did result in great Ted Dibiase promo that went "When it comes to the Million Dollar Man, everybody has a price! Even dear, old Santa Clause! HA HA HA HA HA!" What can I say? Only the Million Dollar Man can say that and make it work.


What's that you say? You don't remember any of this ever happening? Well, there's a pretty good reason most longtime fans forgot about this angle. It only lasted a few weeks, if even that! You see, somebody at the Titan Towers must have remembered that Christmas only comes once a year, so it was pointless to push the character past December. That and the gimmick wasn't really getting over anyway. The man behind Xanta, on the hand, had a bit more luck than the character. He would travel to Philadelphia, surfacing in ECW as Balls Mahoney, having good runs in both the original and the reincarnated versions of ECW. Most recently, he appeared at the failed Hardcore Justice pay per view that TNA put on.

And in case you're curious as to who Ted Dibiase selected to be his new Million Dollar Champion, it was former WCW star "Stunning" Steve Austin. Of course now, he was known as the "Ringmaster" and no, he didn't wear a top hat and coattails, which is a bit surprising given the state of the World Wrestling Federation at the time. No, his gimmick was that he was really good, which fans questioned, especially when compared to fellow wrtestlers like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Needless to say, the "Ringmaster" didn't work, so Austin was more or less left to his own device and thus "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the foul-mouthed redneck antihero, was born. Not long after, the first chapter of Austin 3:16 was written when Austin won the '96 King of the Ring, launching the infamous "Attitude" era of pro wrestling.

And since it's Christmas and I haven't been posting as often as I'd like, I present a special treat for everybody. I give you the Charlie Brown Christmas special, the way it was meant to be seen.


You know? I think they're on to something here. Anybody for a Grinch/Metallica mash-up?

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully, I'll get another post in before Christmas, but if I don't, I want to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a safe Holiday Season. Until next time, I'll catch y'all later!

FINALLY, SOME CHRISTMAS COMICS!!!

For those of you who have ever wondered why Mike and Mindy don't talk, here's why: they have terrible singing voices.

Anyway, short update for today. I know that I promised to talk about the Divas show this week, but I just don't have any time right now. But I promise I'll get to it soon. Too many surreal things happened on this call not to cover it.

Anyway, enough talking. Let's get to the comics...


Hope this was helpful to you.

For those of who have never been to Tijuana before, or simply don't know, that's the legendary Zebra Donkey that Santa is partying with. There's no real back story to the Zebra Donkey. It's a Tijuana tradition that's been around for decades, mostly for tourists who like to get their pictures taken with it. And now you know, and knowing is half the battle (cue G.I. Joe theme).

And since it's Christmas time, how about a holiday jingle...


Truth be told, I wasn't much of a fan of Home Alone 2. I mean, I'll watch it if it's on, but the first Home Alone was much better. I do like this song though, especially the great saxophone work of Clarence Clemons. That's the E Street band backing up Darlene Love by the way (sharp-eyed observers may even recognize former Late Night and Tonight Show drummer Max Weinberg). Darlene was just announced as an inductee to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, so congratulations to her.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll be back next time with a Christmas wrestling post. Until then, I'll catch y'all later!

GOOD GOD WHAT A TIME!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have been unimaginably busy. I was put on the call for the VH1 Divas Live show that was shot at MCAS Miramar, which took eight days to put together, two days to rehearse and shoot, and three days to load out. You would not believe how beat up I am right now. I even lost ten pounds! As a result, I haven't had time for anything lately. I even had to cancel an SCCS appearance at the San Diego Blood drive that the Chargers do every year. So rather than post a couple of rushed, shabbily-drawn cartoons (as opposed to the shabbily-drawn cartoons that I take my time on), today I'm just gonna post a holiday treat so all the readers out there know that I'm still alive, just busy. And what better way to kick off the holidays than by spending a little quality time with the McKenzie Brothers, Bob and Doug.


You know? I don't drink, but a beer does sound pretty good right about now.

Anyway, I hate ending my post on a sad note, but I have to make mention of two recent losses: Irving Kershner and Leslie Nielsen. Kershner directed The Empire Strikes Back, which is not only the best of the Star Wars movies, but one of the best movies period. It works on pretty much all levels and had some of best visual effects ever. I learned a lot about lighting for film by watching the scene in the carbon freeze chamber. He was a good director (Robocop 2 aside) and he will be missed. Anybody who has read my comics has probably figured out that the films of Jim Abrahams and the Jerry and David Zucker were a huge influence on me growing up. As funny as those guys are, a big part of the reason those films worked was because of the actors they cast in them, and there was none better than Leslie Nielsen. His deadpan delivery would always have me in stitches and the scene at the opening of The Naked Gun where he beats up all the terrorists is still the funniest part of the movie, and that's hard to say, because so many scenes in that movie are outrageously funny. I'll really miss Leslie Nielsen, but I take comfort in the fact that he leaves a great list of films to look back on and that he kind of closed the circle, doing an Airplane! reprisal at the end of Scary Movie 3. Goodbye Leslie. This world was a much better place for your having been here.

Well, that's it for this week. I'll be back next time with some new cartoons, another holiday video, and a bunch of pictures and tidbits from the Vh1 Divas show. Until next time, I'll catch y'all later!