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Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Hey folks! Welcome to another exciting edition of "Bad Wrestling Theater". Today's gem comes from the wacky world of the mid 90's WWF. A world ripe with wrestling clowns, plumbers and dudes with yellow jockstraps over their heads (don't ask).

It was the December '95 In Your House pay per view, and longtime heel Ted Dibiase was in the ring bashing Santa Clause, prompting perennial midcarder Savio Vego to come defend jolly old St. Nick's honor. Just as things started to clear up, Vega was attacked by none other than Santa Clause, who had apparently sold out to the Million Dollar Man. Of course, it wasn't actually Santa Clause, but his evil brother, Xanta Klause, who came from the South Pole and stole presents rather than give them.

Yeah, it was pretty bad, but it did result in great Ted Dibiase promo that went "When it comes to the Million Dollar Man, everybody has a price! Even dear, old Santa Clause! HA HA HA HA HA!" What can I say? Only the Million Dollar Man can say that and make it work.

What's that you say? You don't remember any of this ever happening? Well, there's a pretty good reason most longtime fans forgot about this angle. It only lasted a few weeks, if even that! You see, somebody at the Titan Towers must have remembered that Christmas only comes once a year, so it was pointless to push the character past December. That and the gimmick wasn't really getting over anyway. The man behind Xanta, on the hand, had a bit more luck than the character. He would travel to Philadelphia, surfacing in ECW as Balls Mahoney, having good runs in both the original and the reincarnated versions of ECW. Most recently, he appeared at the failed Hardcore Justice pay per view that TNA put on.

And in case you're curious as to who Ted Dibiase selected to be his new Million Dollar Champion, it was former WCW star "Stunning" Steve Austin. Of course now, he was known as the "Ringmaster" and no, he didn't wear a top hat and coattails, which is a bit surprising given the state of the World Wrestling Federation at the time. No, his gimmick was that he was really good, which fans questioned, especially when compared to fellow wrtestlers like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Needless to say, the "Ringmaster" didn't work, so Austin was more or less left to his own device and thus "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the foul-mouthed redneck antihero, was born. Not long after, the first chapter of Austin 3:16 was written when Austin won the '96 King of the Ring, launching the infamous "Attitude" era of pro wrestling.

And since it's Christmas and I haven't been posting as often as I'd like, I present a special treat for everybody. I give you the Charlie Brown Christmas special, the way it was meant to be seen.

You know? I think they're on to something here. Anybody for a Grinch/Metallica mash-up?

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully, I'll get another post in before Christmas, but if I don't, I want to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a safe Holiday Season. Until next time, I'll catch y'all later!

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