Friday, October 14, 2011

SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL!!!

Greetings fellow bloggers! And welcome to another installment of Jon's Crazy Stuff! We're in the second week of October, and that can mean only one thing: IT'S WRESTLING WEEK! So sit back and enjoy this long-forgotten "gem," courtesy of the ghost wrestling past.

It has often been said Halloween Havoc was the worst wrestling pay per view ever. Personally, I don't think Havoc had anything on Road Wild, but then again, Road Wild didn't have Havoc's longevity. It also didn't suffer from a long history of outrageous gimmick matches that constantly plagued the card. I could literally go on for hours about the ridiculous matches that took place at Halloween Havoc over the years. Everything from Hogan vs. Warrior II, the previously posted Chamber of Horrors, and no less than two angles featuring fake Sting's. And let's not forget the Yeti's attempt to go doggy-style on Hulkamania! So yeah, this show pretty much always sucked. But in 1992, WCW threw together a main event that actually managed to get people interested: Sting vs. Jake "the Snake" Roberts.

That alone was a good selling point for most fans. After all, Sting was WCW's top babyface, and Jake had just come in after a wildly popular run in the WWF and was probably wrestling's top heel at that point. With so much going right for a change, leave it to WCW to find a way to screw it all up. Enter the WHEEL...

In case the video wasn't clear enough, the basics were this: a big roulette wheel with a bunch of gimmick matches on it was spun prior to the match. Whatever match the wheel landed on, would be the type of match that took place. Now, any promoter with a lick of common sense would have rigged the wheel so that it landed on a match that people wanted to see, like a "Falls Count Anywhere" match or a "Texas Death" match. Of course, this is WCW we're talking about here, so you know right away that a genius wasn't running things (in this case, the booker was "Cowboy" Bill Watts). So WCW actually left it all to chance and, not surprisingly, the wheel landed on its stupidest match: the "Coal Miner's Glove" match. Basically, this was a run of the mill item on a pole match. The glove was placed at the top of the pole, and whoever got it first won.

Yep, WCW turned what should have been a great main event between two of the business' top stars into a crap fest that saw two groan men fighting over a glove. And in true WCW fashion, they ignored the rules of a pole match and ended it when Sting hit Jake with the glove and pinned him (after Jake's cobra turned on him, or tried to anyway, long story). Despite the debacle, the show drew a huge buy rate based on the buzz of Sting vs. Jake, and was WCW's highest grossing pay per view until Starrcade '97, which, ironically enough, saw another botched main event. But that's a story for another day.

As for Sting and Jake Roberts, most of us know their stories from here. Jake left WCW shortly afterwards, wrestling in Mexico for a few years and returned to the WWF in 1996. Sadly, Roberts had severe issues with drugs and alcohol that cost him his job and nearly his life. After an embarrassingly short run in TNA in 2006, Jake finally entered rehab, taking advantage of the WWE's wellness policy. He has been clean as of 2008 and recently retired from the squared circle. Sting stayed with WCW until the bitter end, always remaining the company's top babyface. From 2004-on, he's been floundering about in TNA for reasons that nobody can really figure out. He's currently gearing up for yet another main event with Hulk Hogan this Sunday. Here's a lesson to any future wrestling promoters out there: NOBODY WANTS TO SEE TO DUDES PUSHING 60 WRESTLE EACH OTHER!!! And Dixie Carter wonders why nobody ever watches Impact on Thursday nights.

Well, that's all for now. I did five different shows in five consecutive days, and worked seven of the last eight days, so as you might have guessed, I'm pretty bushed. But I'm committed to this blog, and committed to entertaining you, the readers. I'd also like to take this time to promote the Long Beach Comic Con, coming up Halloween weekend. They got a great lineup this year and it's looking like a lot of fun. For more info, check out www.longbeachcomiccon.com. Until next time, I'll catch y'all later!

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